Why “Just Focus” is the Worst Advice for Someone with ADHD

You tap your foot. You wring your hands, wishing you had brought your fidget spinner. You know you’re supposed to be focused on the lecture, but a dozen other thoughts are vying for your brain’s attention.

The ticking of the clock is becoming distracting, and so is the distant conversation, the scratch of the pen on paper, and the relentless movement of the guy in front of you. Your body gets restless, and your leg begins to bounce again, keeping time with your finger that is rapidly tapping on the table. Sitting still feels like an impossibly grueling task.

“Just focus,” you hear. Did your teacher just say that? Or maybe it was in your head. You have heard that simple, two-word, yet damning phrase hundreds of times in your life, and it simply does no good. “Just focus.”

Oh, if it were just that simple. Well-meaning people often offer the advice to “just focus” to seemingly distracted people. But if those distracted folks are dealing with the effects of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), the advice may very well fall flat. In fact, it may very well be the worst possible advice to give someone who has ADHD. This advice is ineffective and shows a misunderstanding of what ADHD really is and how it affects people.

“Just focusing” isn’t something that people with ADHD can do just because they are ordered to do so. Focus isn’t a matter of choice, nor does achieving it follow a predictable process. ADHD isn’t even really about a lack of attention, but rather a struggle to regulate it. This is due, largely, to executive dysfunction.

The brain’s difficulty in managing dopamine levels makes it hard to sustain focus on demand. This can lead to cycles of hyperfocus on certain tasks while completely zoning out on others. And distractions? Those aren’t just minor annoyances to someone with ADHD. They can become overwhelming due to sensory overload and racing thoughts, which makes it nearly impossible to filter out the irrelevant stimuli and stay engaged.

When someone with ADHD is told to “just focus,” it implies to them that they have a choice as to whether they can focus on something or not. It completely ignores the fact that ADHD is a neurological condition in which the person has no control.

What makes matters even worse is that this implication can cause guilt and frustration for the person with ADHD (and frankly for those around them). Well-meaning reminders to focus on the task at hand may not be meant to bring grief or guilt, but they oversimplify a very complex cognitive condition.

The next time you see your student, child, or adult with ADHD having a hard time focusing, offer some constructive help instead of a glib reminder to focus. Offer suggestions such as breaking conversations and tasks into smaller, manageable bites or offering a pair of noise-canceling headphones, which might provide a moment of peace.

If you or someone you know is struggling with the symptoms of ADHD, remember that it isn’t tied to willpower. Telling someone with this condition to “just focus” can exacerbate the problem. Instead, use encouraging words and offer practical support.

Let go of the guilt-inducing advice and celebrate the beautifully complex brain that God created. If you need a little extra support with dealing with ADHD, contact a Christian therapist who can help you understand executive dysfunction and how to manage it effectively.