How the World Sees Your ADHD (and What God Says)

If you have ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), you’ve probably been labeled a time or two. Maybe you were the “hyper kid” in school or perhaps your parents threw around the label “lazy” about the lawn you were supposed to mow. Maybe your childhood report card mentions how easily distracted you were.

The behaviors that you exhibit as a result of your ADHD are often misinterpreted by people in your life. It’s unfortunate that sometimes these misinterpretations turn into negative labels that not only follow you around throughout your life but can affect your self-perception.

What the Others Say

No one lives inside your brain. What others see are your actions, or in some cases, lack of action. Unfortunately, they sometimes make judgements based on these observations that are unfair. If unfamiliar with ADHD influenced behaviors, people might base their assessments strictly on outward behaviors. They will not dig deeper into the root causes and more subtle aspects of your behaviors.

Some may think that because you struggle with consistency and procrastination, you’re lazy and simply trying to avoid work or doing your part. They may simply look at your missed deadlines and conclude that you’re irresponsible or point out how you lose focus regularly. You may be chastised for “rudely” interrupting conversations. They may not realize that if you don’t blurt out your thoughts, you may lose them forever.

You’ve probably heard all these criticisms before and felt them even deeper. If only others could know your brain. ADHD symptoms aren’t always visible and obvious, so people around you might assume that you are offering flimsy excuses or not trying hard enough when you fail to finish your project or show up on time. They may consider you rude for not standing still during a conversation, instead of realizing that you’re not even aware of your fidgeting.

However, know this: Other people’s assumptions, generalizations, observations, and gross misconceptions do not define you.

What the Bible Says

If you are a Christian, your identity is firmly planted in Jesus. Scripture is full of encouragement for those who feel “less than” or “not enough.” If you suffer from the perceived laziness or rudeness or inattentiveness that often accompanies ADHD, you may feel weak and “less than.” A verse that speaks directly to this is 2 Corinthians 12:9, which says “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

To think, God knew you would have deficits and weaknesses, yet He, in His power and perfect plan, made a provision that not only compensates for your lack, but edifies Himself in the process. He isn’t sitting up in Heaven, waiting for you to “fix” yourself or mow the lawn or finish the assignment before He loves or uses you.

God loves you now! His love, unlike earthly love that sometimes requires action or performance, is unconditional. He loves you when your sink is full of dishes. He loves you when you forget to mail the letter. While the world may call you lazy, rude, or unmotivated, God calls you His.

Practical Ways to Co-Exist in a Non-ADHD World

Even though ADHD may make motivation harder, conversations awkward, or concentration difficult, there are ways to work with your brain instead of against it to help you thrive in a non-ADHD world. While you may have legitimate reasons for interrupting during conversations or procrastinating on a project, it’s important to learn how to balance your ADHD tendencies with the conventions of society.

Lack Motivation?

Get and accountability partner God designed us to live in community, so don’t be afraid to ask for accountability from a trusted friend. A friend checking in to see if you have done that thing you were supposed to do can be a great motivator.

Use external motivation If you don’t have an accountability partner, setting a timer or alarm to remind yourself to “act” or “do” can be a game changer. If you have ADHD, you probably already have twenty-five alarms set on your phone, what’s one more?

Make tasks small Instead of thinking, “Oh, I have to clean this whole house” and letting the feelings of being overwhelmed overtake you, consider making a smaller commitment. Try putting away five items or cleaning for ten minutes. Tiny steps add up!

Pray Instead of beating yourself up for what you aren’t doing, bring your struggles to God. Ask Him to help you take the next step and to find motivation. Remind yourself of His love for you instead of the shame or frustration that may follow you.

Love what God made Because of your ADHD, you might struggle with certain things, but you’re also deeply creative, full of life, and a whole lot of fun to hang out with. Lean on those strengths that ADHD provides. Thank God for them and let Him handle the rest.

Interrupting People?

Pause and breathe Before blurting out that thought that just floated into your brain, train yourself to take a deep breath and count to three. This will train your brain to not blurt things out, especially when someone else is talking.

Hold a fidget device Use a small fidget device such as a spinner or another object that keeps your hands busy. Keeping your hands busy will actually help your brain focus on the conversation.

Write it down If an idea pops into your head while someone else is talking, jot down a quick note on a piece of paper. When the other person is done speaking, you can refer to your note and interject your thoughts into the conversation.

Look for visual clues School yourself in the subtleties of body language and verbal cues. Notice when people aren’t done talking by simply observing their tone and body language.

Pray for patience Pray that God will give you patience to be an attentive and active listener.

Getting Distracted?

Use a visual timer Use a visual timer to help keep you on task. A timer that is out of sight may not be as effective as one you can see. Being able to count down the minutes or seconds until you can move onto another project may help keep you focused.

Eliminate distractions If you have to complete a task within a certain amount of time, prepare your environment for your success by eliminating potential distractions. Put your phone out of arms’ reach and turn off that television show.

Work with a buddy If you have a hard time focusing on a project, ask a friend to work with you. Even if you want to get off task, you will have someone to gently guide you back.

Create a distraction list Have a pen and paper handy. When a thought pops into your head, jot it down and revisit it after you have completed your task.

Allow more time If possible, allow yourself more time to complete your tasks. Realizing that you may be distracted and compensating for it can be an effective way to stay on time, even if you can’t stay on task.

Need a Little Help?

If you’re struggling with ADHD and want additional help with mustering motivation and overcoming behavioral challenges, contact our offices today. We have Christian therapists in our practice who can help you learn more ways to work with your brain!

Your therapist can help you better understand your beautiful ADHD brain and show you why your struggles are more about how your brain processes tasks and rewards than the labels others want to put on you.

You’re Not Broken

God didn’t make a mistake when He created you. ADHD might make certain aspects of life challenging, but it also gives you a unique perspective and a different way of solving problems. When you feel like you’re stuck, remember that God’s grace is bigger than your struggles. Your worth is not tied up in your productivity or social etiquette. You don’t have to prove your worth because He has already called you worthy.