There is help available for single moms who feel overwhelmed with all the tasks that they have to handle by themselves. If you are a single mom, there is encouragement for you today and we encourage you to seek out additional help from a Christian counselor.
In the book, The 10 Best Decisions a Single Mom Can Make, authors Pam Farrel and PeggySue Wells outline several practical ways that moms can get help. Here is some advice on help for single moms related to their book.
Align yourself with God.
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” – Matthew 11:28-30
You aren’t meant to do the life of a single mom by yourself. God is a “friend who sticks closer than a brother.” (Prov. 18:28) Unlike human beings, God is available to you 24/7. He is your strength at every hour of the day, even in the middle of the night.
One way to align yourself with God and His purposes is to start your day with prayer. Start your day by praising him for the way that he’s been faithful to you in the past. Then thank him in advance for everything that you need, and offer up your requests. Don’t leave anything out – even the smallest things can be on your list (Phil. 4:6-7).
Remember that God cares for you, and he cares about everything that is on your heart and mind (1 Peter 5:7). He wants to help you in practical ways, and he wants to hear you ask for them in prayer.
Another important part of aligning yourself with God is to keep a prayer and gratitude journal. In this journal, you can record your prayer requests for things that you need, then go back and offer gratitude when God gives you answers to those prayers. This journal will be a great encouragement to you when you can look back and see how God has been faithful in the past to answer your prayers and will be faithful to you in the future.
Introduce your child to Jesus Christ.
You shall therefore lay up these words of mine in your heart and in your soul, and you shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall teach them to your children, talking of them when you are sitting in your house, and when you are walking by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. – Deuteronomy 11:18-19
One of the most important privileges you have as a single mom is to introduce your child to Jesus Christ. You do this through Bible devotions that are customized for your child’s age.
A good practice is to have a short devotional time once or twice a day, either with meals or at bedtime. Even older kids will appreciate this focused attention that you give them while you read God’s word to them and give them practical applications for their lives.
You are the most important person to introduce your child to Jesus Christ. Be honest about the struggles that you have and the ways that God is helping you. Your child will see your faith in action and be inspired to have faith like your own if you are honest and open with that.
But you don’t have to do this on your own. Make sure that you attend church with your child, are involved with other godly people, and with youth group activities that will interest them. Allow the church to help you introduce your child to Jesus Christ.
Don’t rely only on the church to do this work for you. Studies show that children retain their faith in adulthood if a parent has honest and open conversations about faith while at home. So, the time that you invest in introducing your child to Jesus Christ will not be wasted. It is one of the most important things that you can do, and God will certainly help you do this important task.
Live in community.
Now the full number of those who believed were of one heart and soul, and no one said that any of the things that belonged to him was his own, but they had everything in common. And with great power, the apostles were giving their testimony to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and great grace was upon them all. There was not a needy person among them, for as many as were owners of lands or houses sold them and brought the proceeds of what was sold and laid it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to each as any had need. – Acts 4:32-35
As a single mom, you must live in community. You probably already know just how hard it is to juggle everything that you need to do. Between taking care of your house, working, and caring for your children, you have a heavy load to bear. Some people want to help you, but you have to ask them for help.
Take a moment to brainstorm the kind of people who can help you. It could be your family members, neighbors, coworkers, or other friends. Don’t hesitate to ask them when you need help with babysitting, home repairs, car maintenance, were any other thing or task that you can’t handle by yourself. People love helping other people, and they would be thrilled to help you with the skills that they have.
It’s nice to offer to pay for their help if you can afford it, but most people will be happy to give help to a single mom like you. Don’t feel guilty if you cannot afford to pay. Simply let them know up front, and be sure to express your gratitude through words and perhaps a small gift or baked item. Let their main satisfaction be from the fact that they helped you, and graciously receive the blessing of their help.
Develop strong same-sex friendships.
A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity. – Proverbs 17:17
You need strong same-sex friendships as a single mom in order to thrive. as you develop strong friendships with other women, especially if they are single moms themselves, you’ll get many ideas for how to manage your life with greater efficiency and success. The key is to be honest and authentic so you both can gain from the friendship.
Be careful to pick the kinds of friends who will build you up. Though an important part of friendship is being able to vent your negative feelings to one another, that shouldn’t be your main focus. A strong friendship will allow room for fun, fellowship, encouragement, and prayerful support. If your friendship doesn’t have most of these things, it might not be worth your time investment.
If you don’t think you have enough time for a friendship, remember that you’ve got to fill your cup first so that you can pour it into your children. It’s not selfish to set time aside for your friends because they will help you refill your emotional tank. Friendships can be an invaluable resource to you as a single mom, so make sure that they are on your priority list.
More help for single moms.
If you are a single mom and still need additional help, a Christian counselor can help you uncover the roots of the struggles that you face. There may be many unprocessed attitudes that feed the problems that you have, and counseling can help you discover the roots of those problems, bring them to light, and handle them in new ways.
A Christian counselor will offer you biblical advice and practical tips that you can apply in your daily living as a single mom. Consider reaching out to us for the help that you need, and we will be happy to work with you on finding practical solutions.
“Mother and Child”, Courtesy of Xavier Mouton Photographie, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Reading Together”, Courtesy of Ben White, Unsplash.com, CC0 License; “Excitement”, Courtesy of Getty Images, Unsplash.com, Unsplash+ License; “Girl’s Best Friend”, Courtesy of Yunus Tug, Unsplash.com, Unsplash+ License