Kate Motaung

For many and various reasons all of us get disappointed from time to time. Maybe you didn’t get the job or the promotion you had your sights on. Your spouse, child, or friend did something that you thought they would never do. Perhaps your visit to the doctor gave you news you were not expecting. Whatever the circumstances, things didn’t turn out as you expected, and now you are disappointed. You prayed about it, meditated on the Scriptures, sought

As a Christian counselor, I am aware of the epidemic of countless individuals who struggle with pornography. Every day, people of all ages are exposed to this evil force. It is extremely enticing and appealing, and selfishly gratifying, although only temporarily so. Yet it is also unavoidably addictive, and so incredibly damaging to our thoughts, lives, families, and society. Pornography is a subtly destructive epidemic, yet it is accepted by the so-called majority as nothing more than an expression

Part 1 of a 4-Part Series This is the first article in a series on Adult ADHD in which I discuss common questions and answers regarding the condition. Over recent years, there has been increased awareness and understanding of ADHD as a developmental condition in children, with better diagnostics and individualized options for intervention and treatment. Many adults with ADHD become aware that they may need an evaluation when their own son or daughter is diagnosed with ADHD, and

In a previous article, I sought to clarify the terms we use in speaking of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) in order to help identify the disorder. I also attempted to normalize obsessional thoughts and emphasized the importance of accurately judging intrusive thoughts. In this article, I would like to follow up by outlining how avoidance and safety-seeking behaviors contribute to the vicious cycle of OCD. If you are struggling with what you think might be OCD or something similar, getting as

What is the difference between a little worry and an anxiety disorder? Most of us experience anxiety at some point in time. Not all anxiety is bad. A little extra focus and concern often helps us to complete projects and assignments on time. In other circumstances, anxiety can help us to take action quickly if the situation is threatening. Anxiety is a response to perceived danger or threat. It is a natural state that can, in moderate degree and

No other relationship will play a more important role in shaping your life than your relationship with your spouse. If you are reading this article, you are probably either engaged or seriously considering marriage, and are excited about spending the rest of your life with that special someone. You certainly understand that no other relationship will impact your life more than your relationship with your prospective spouse. Yet many individuals make the crucial decision about marriage when they are

Anxiety is something we all experience from time to time. It is our body’s natural reaction to stressors or stimuli that may be harmful. Anxiety can often be simply an overreaction or an inaccurate appraisal of stimuli. This article provides a Christian counselor’s thoughts on how to accurately understand anxiety and panic. It seeks to offer hope and to suggest treatment that can help individuals to effectively manage anxiety and panic. We React Instantaneously to Danger When you are walking

When Our Life Strategies Don’t Work I always prided myself on holding my life together, but that all changed in my early 30s. Aching to prove myself as a man, I became a workaholic pastor, neglecting my family and precipitating a crisis in my marriage. My wife courageously confronted me and insisted that we change before it was too late. I agreed. A few months later we lost our second child in a miscarriage. A few months after that,

References “Pure Desire” by Ted Roberts Sex addiction– that doesn’t happen to Christians, right? I mean, no Christian would ever look at porn or take any approach to sex other than “It doesn’t tempt me.” Of course we don’t think like that. And what if maintaining this facade that all of us are basically saints who never struggle with sin is keeping struggling believers from seeking the repentance and recovery they need? Sin is shameful enough. If a person

I was recently struck by Ruth Graham Bell’s statement that, “A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” Forgiveness is something incredibly powerful. If it could somehow be packaged and sold, a daily dose would probably save a lot of marriages – for so many marital problems  can be traced to issues of forgiveness. Yet if we are honest, we should acknowledge that most of us are stubborn and struggle to lay aside our pride. We don’t like to take

How many of us have grown up thinking about the American dream—if you just work hard enough, you can accomplish your dreams? And how many times have we heard that the reason our lives are going well, ornot going well, is because—according to the cause-effect mentality—“if you live a righteous life, you will be blessed and will never have to deal with difficulty.” And the flip side of that is: “Wow, your health (or life) is a wreck. What

If I have forgiven, why do I still experience so much emotional pain? A wise older woman once explained how forgiveness “works.” If someone comes up to me and slashes my arm with a knife, I am left with a wound. Choosing to forgive means choosing not to retaliate. But I am still left with a nasty wound on my arm. If left untended, it may get infected, or develop gangrene, or create an ugly scar. Tended, it will