Kate Motaung

When a couple enters into couples counseling, they are usually at some sort of an impasse. This can be anything from not communicating very well to living with outside pressures from their children, parents, friends, work, and finances. It may also be that one or both partners are looking at other men or women on Facebook or dating sites, or they may have begun an emotional and/or physical affair. In such situations and difficult times, one or both of

Marriage counseling with a Christian counselor can be extremely beneficial for couples who have reached an impasse in their relationship. A skilled Christian counselor can help couples to talk about their relationship problems in a safe way, and assist them in developing strategies to overcome these problems. In addition, a Christian counselor can help couples to evaluate their current priorities and point out possible areas of concern. Make Your Marriage Relationship a Priority In my work as a Christian

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is quite common and is estimated to affect over 2% of Americans. It is considered a chronic anxiety disorder that is fueled by obsessions (recurrent intrusive thoughts) and compulsions (repetitive behaviors or rituals). Obsessions and Compulsions Individuals suffering from this disorder are generally fully aware that their ruminations and rituals might appear ridiculous to others. Their anxiety compels them to engage in these rituals in rather scrupulous behavior. They are not usually aware why, but

Part 1 of a 2-Part Bullying Series We’ve all heard the saying “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” As a child, I was often told this by my mother when I came home crying because one of my friends had been unkind with their words or actions. I know my mother meant well and, as every parent knows, we don’t always know what to say in those times, so we do our

Endings and Leavings | Part 9 of a 9-part series on the deeper Self that awakens in laboring through grief, living through loss, and embracing endings as the seedbed of new beginnings. The first eight articles in this series sought to explore endings as a reflection of the mystery and complexity that both nuances and nurtures our humanity. That grief can pull us into the gray, and defy words, doesn’t mean that it lacks definition. At times grief work

Anger is an emotion that brings about mixed emotions for many people. Some feel an immense amount of shame and avoidance associated with their experience of anger. For others, anger is more of a familiar friend. There are two passages that I often refer to in my thoughts about anger and its application to emotional health.   You have heard that our ancestors were told, ‘You must not murder. If you commit murder, you are subject to judgment.’ But

Endings and Leavings | Part 8 of a 9-part series on the deeper Self that awakens in laboring through grief, living through loss, and embracing endings as the seedbed of new beginnings. Do not go gentle into that good night … rage, rage against the dying of the light. (poet Dylan Thomas) My wife’s voice, shrouded by muffled sobs, was barely audible on the phone. She did not want our daughter to overhear the shocking news. Not yet. The

Amongst the laundry list of pre-wedding “To-Dos” someone, somewhere along the way may have mentioned “premarital counseling.” However, if you are like many couples, premarital counseling may seem to be a rather ambiguous activity. Often couples ask me: “So, what do we do here? How does this work?” These are understandable questions and in this article, I address what this process is and how your relationship can benefit from it. Education for Marriage Premarital counseling essentially provides couples with

Endings and Leavings | Part 7 of a 9-part series on the deeper Self that awakens in laboring through grief, living through loss, and embracing endings as the seedbed of new beginnings. In 6th-century Ireland, a Celtic abbot named “Brendan the Navigator” was known for voyaging with his band of monks into the wild, watery wasteland of the Atlantic Ocean … and instructing them to throw their oars overboard. It was considered an act of trust and devotion: to

Boundaries define us. They show what is me and what is not me. We are responsible to others, and we are responsible for ourselves. Boundaries are not walls, but are rather like fences with gates that we can open or close. They can help us to keep the good in and the bad out. But some trauma victims are keeping the bad in and good out because the world outside their “fence” seems untrustworthy – and for them, it

One of the biggest concerns that I hear from families is how they should deal with members of their families who struggle with mental health issues. This could include someone with schizophrenia, bipolar, or other mental illnesses. Or a family member might struggle with chemical dependency that alters their mental health and severely affects their behavior. How Do You Deal with a Mentally Ill Family Member? I usually speak with the family about what their role is and how

Endings and Leavings | Part 6 of an 8-part series on the deeper Self that awakens in laboring through grief, living through loss, and embracing endings as the seedbed of new beginnings. “Fear of breakdown is the fear of a breakdown that has already [happened].” (Donald Winnicott) Our fear of endings can be traced to our very beginnings. Birth itself is already a traumatic ending – leaving the warmth and severed security of the womb. The skilled midwife who so artfully