David Hodel

You may have heard someone at work or a social function say, “I feel like I’m having an anxiety attack.” Usually if you can say that, you aren’t actually having an anxiety attack. You may be on the verge of an anxiety attack, but an actual anxiety attack is usually quite debilitating. The symptoms may come on suddenly, like a panic attack, or more gradually, but are no less distressing when severe, and may include: chest pains racing or

We work best when we have a sense of purpose. A sense of purpose engages not just our will, but our best thoughts, our passions and gives life a much needed sense of meaning. In Proverbs it says not having vision can kill you; I would add both physically and emotionally. I’m reminded of the old Disney short cartoons that would include a businessman trudging to work at his soul-sucking day job, rings under his eyes, despondently going through

More than any other addiction, sex addiction has the most potential to dial up shame. This is what can make it so hard to talk about, and therefore too often it stays hidden. Unfortunately, as they say in 12-step programs, we are only as sick as our secrets. What this means is when we do things we know are wrong and then hide those behaviors from our loved ones, we gradually poison our soul, and the longer we wait,

You may find it strange to hear that anxiety is a surprisingly complex emotion with many possible causes and manifestations. If you’ve lived with anxiety for a long time and never asked yourself about it, it may seem like just the way you are, a simple state of being. Anxiety is not our normal state, however. It has causes and symptoms that can be addressed, and can be reduced and managed over time. We don’t have to just accept

Choosing to see a marriage counselor can be an unnerving proposition. We want our relationship to improve, but then it always begins with our having to be vulnerable with a stranger. The good news is that most counselors are used to this discomfort and skilled at helping new clients through the process. Having said that, we do not have to go in to marriage counseling unprepared. 6 Marriage Counseling Questions to Ask Yourself Below are 6 marriage counseling questions

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder can manifest in a wide variety of forms and intensity specific to the sufferer’s emotional and/or neurological structure, characterized by an experience of feeling stuck in repetitive cycles of thinking and/or behavior. Over time, these feelings of being unable to change one's thinking or behavior can cause escalating feelings of anxiety and depression, until life becomes unmanageable. Popularized by movies like As Good As It Gets, Jack Nicolson’s portrayal of a man who has to turn the lock

When we are traumatized at an early age (and most of us are in one form or another), one of the most obvious and prevalent defensive structures we use to survive is disconnection from our bodies. This is the mind walling itself off from the experience of trauma to prevent being overwhelmed. When the mind is overwhelmed, it stops functioning. If you are reading and understanding this, whatever you have suffered, it means your defensive and family or social

First of all, what is an emotional affair? Let’s begin with a simple definition. An emotional affair is any relationship where we go outside our marriage to have our emotional needs met. This is obviously a very broad definition. The difficulty comes from the fact that we are created for relationship. It is our position in the relationship that determines whether it is an affair or not. Examples of an Emotional Affair Consider for a moment a wife who

When I was a kid, I read a comic book about a criminal foursome exposed to cosmic rays who ended up with super powers. As you may have guessed, the story was part of the Fantastic Four series. One scene in particular stands out; there was a woman whose ability was to convert herself into any gas she chose. Near the end, as their powers are overwhelming and destroying them, her husband is suffocating because his repulse ability is

When our children are born, none of us get an operation manual. How amazing would it be, on the day of a child’s birth, to get a document telling us the best way to nurture, discipline, grow, and in all other ways develop them into the very person they were meant to be from the beginning? Of course it doesn’t work that way, but when it comes to relationship issues, there are some general rules of engagement that, with

No one wakes up one morning and says, “Today, I’m going to destroy my marriage.” So why do people have affairs? The roots of infidelity are actually most often found in the defensive structures we build in response to childhood trauma. Let me show you what I mean. Imagine a young girl with a father who is distant, dictatorial, doesn’t come to recitals, and a mother who is only half-present, caught up in her own sorrows or preoccupations. Her

At the emotional root of every addiction is a good desire. We want to be seen, known, and loved well, and when it doesn’t happen, the pain can be intolerable. We want to be free of our stresses and free to enjoy life. Good desires. The problem with addiction is that it masquerades as a solution, masking our symptoms while our condition slowly worsens in the background. I once heard a pastor say, “Only dead things float down stream.”