David Hodel

Have you ever wanted to do something so badly that it loomed large in your mind and imagination, and you just couldn’t shake it? Has it ever happened to you that the way to the thing you want so badly is barred by a deep fear you have? You want to ask someone out, but you’re afraid of being rejected. Or you want to try out for the football team, but you’re afraid of looking foolish and failing. You

If you’ve ever had someone step on your toes, figuratively or literally, beyond the initial shock and pain there will often be feelings of anger that follow. You may think: Didn’t they see me standing here?. Who does she think she is?. What an inconsiderate jerk!. He didn’t even apologize!. If you are not able to interrupt that stream of thought, your anger will escalate. There’s a story of a guy who was walking to a neighbor’s house to

The saying, “familiarity breeds contempt” surely has some grounding in reality. When we spend extended time with people and get to know them well, we know their flaws and weaknesses, and what we may have considered small quirks at the beginning of our relationship with them can grow into bigger issues. There are many different reasons why anger can flare up in a relationship – familiarity turned sour, unresolved conflicts, feelings of betrayal, unmet expectations, anger management issues stemming

Are you and your partner increasingly at odds with one another? Do you wonder if couples therapy might be able to help? According to the American Psychological Association, couples therapy is effective at restoring relationships approximately 75 percent of the time. But the key is not to wait too long. Love is a feeling, but a healthy relationship is a skill. – Linda Carroll, LMFT The longer you wait, the more deep-rooted bad habits become and the harder it

We plan to go on dates, but a child gets sick, or something comes up at work. We plan to make communication a priority, but it can be easy to adopt a “we will do it later” attitude, which can quickly put your marriage on the back burner. We plan to make intimacy a priority, but it gets easy to say “Later when things settle down” or “We are just too tired.” If your marriage is struggling, please read

Divorce is a painful event, bringing with it enormous change, transition, and emotional upheaval. And that doesn’t just apply to parents, but children as well. Here are some ways that children of divorce may feel and how parents can help them through it. Ways to Help Children of Divorce Taking sides Children of divorce may defend one parent or another. Particularly when a child is old enough to understand some of what has happened to cause the divorce, he

Though Western society pays closer attention to mental health and emotional health as a whole, many people still struggle to know what to do with their uncomfortable emotions. Maybe their family of origin didn’t teach them how to do this or maybe emotions were ignored, over-spiritualized, or treated as neutral. A person may not feel safe to express their feelings because bad things happened when they expressed them in the past. A person may avoid even facing their difficult

Every day sees millions of emails, texts, voice messages, phone calls, in-person and virtual meetings crisscrossing and happening across the globe. Human beings spend a lot of time communicating, whether verbally, through sign language, or other non-verbal means. In a relationship like a marriage, many words are exchanged between the couple – some happy, others angry, others functional, and still others intended to convey their deepest affections and desires. After a while, each couple gets into the groove of

The term “codependency” has become somewhat of a buzzword, with books on the topic lining the shelves of most bookstore psychology sections. It’s also defined in so many ways that it can be confusing to understand what exactly it means and how codependency symptoms may appear when it is present in a relationship. By general definition, codependency is an adaptive coping mechanism used compulsively by those trying to find personal worth and value by meeting the perceived needs of

“Burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. It occurs when you feel overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and unable to meet constant demands. As the stress continues, you begin to lose the interest and motivation that led you to take on a certain role in the first place.” – www.helpguide.org/articles/stress In American culture, hard work, hustle, and financial gain are such high values that burnout is all too common. People who struggle

Effective communication is the lifeblood of a relationship. From making sure they know what’s on one another’s weekly schedule, to staying connected emotionally and knowing one another’s needs, being able to communicate well helps a couple to maintain, deepen and strengthen their relationship. As we’ll find a bit later, there’s a difference between talking and communicating, and that difference is one reason why difficulties sometimes pop up within relationships. In this article we'll look at some practical couples therapy

There is a lot in this world that is worth celebrating. The smile of a child, a bright sunny summer day, time with family over the holidays. However, there is also a lot in the world to lament and that brings us to despair. Some events we experience in life are traumatic, and they affect us physically, mentally, or emotionally in negative ways. In this article we will look at some of the common effects of trauma. What is