Kate Motaung

Where do we go when we are faced with tough questions about our faith? Who can we turn to when we need to make sense of what God is doing in our lives? How do we go about making decisions for the future? This article is the first in a two-part series in which I outline a systematic approach to finding out what God may be saying to you, based on my experience as a Christian counselor. Recognize That You

Living a Christian life is challenging and we sometimes face tough questions about our faith. We may have questions about what God is doing in our lives, or we may need help as we make decisions about the future. Where do we turn for such guidance as we seek to do God’s will? In my previous article, I outlined a systematic approach to finding out what God may be saying to you based on my experience as a Christian counselor. I

Coping with the loss of a close friend or family member may be one of the hardest challenges that many of you will face. When you lose a spouse, parent, sibling or child, your grief can be particularly intense. Grief and loss is a normal and natural part of life, but knowing that doesn’t remove the shock, confusion, sadness and depression. The sadness typically diminishes in intensity as time passes, but grieving is an important process that enables us to work through our

Talking and listening is fundamental to any relationship. It sounds simple to say that a conversation involves both speaking and listening, but all-too-often our conversations involve a form of competition as we seek the power that comes through speaking. We have learnt how to speak, but we have not necessarily learnt how to listen. Yet we all need to be heard and understood and there is nothing more hurtful than realizing that the people close to

Talking and listening involves a unique relationship in which two people are constantly switching roles. In any conversation the speaker and the listener are jockeying for position, with the needs of one competing with the needs of the other. If you doubt this, try sharing a personal problem with someone and see how long it takes for them to interrupt you – either with one of their own problems, or in order to share a similar story or to offer

This article is the second in a two-part series on the practical steps you can take to find freedom from sexual addiction. If you are reading this, there is a good chance that you, or someone you love, is struggling with unwanted sexual behavior. It is also likely that this has been a problem for some time. It takes a great deal of courage to admit that you are struggling with sexual issues, and even more courage to reach

This article is the first in a two-part series on the practical steps you can take to find freedom from sexual addiction. If you are reading this, there is a good chance that you, or someone you love, is struggling with unwanted sexual behavior. It is also likely that this has been a problem for some time. It takes a great deal of courage to admit that you are struggling with sexual issues, and even more courage to reach

In my work as a Christian counselor, I am often exposed to the challenges that arise in a marriage when a couple is not aware of the importance of boundaries, or have not been taught how to implement them in their relationship. Much of the work that I do with couples includes helping them learn to define and establish healthy boundaries. My own knowledge about boundaries has come through some exceptionally challenging experiences, and from things I have learned

When the language of certain mental disorders becomes commonly used in popular culture, this can produce confusion and result in the improper labeling of individuals and symptoms. This is unfortunate because it stigmatizes these individuals and can lead to a misrepresentation of a real condition. This is often the case with Bipolar Disorder. This is indeed a mood disorder. But Bipolar Disorder does not simply mean that people’s moods go from happy to angry, or even just happy to

This past July, I attended the Johnson-Gottman Summit in Seattle. The Johnson-Gottman summit is a clinical training conference focused on marriage and couples therapy, hosted by couples counseling experts John and Julie Gottman and Sue Johnson. In this article, I would like to share some highlights I gleaned from my experience at the Summit. Introducing the Experts: John & Julie Gottman and Sue Johnson Sue Johnson is one of the main founders of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples,

During college in the 1990s, I first read the little book, Be Good To Each Other, by Lowell and Carol Erdahl. I was struck by how simple the title was. Now, after more experience of life and of my own marriage, I find the title to be quite profound. Striving to “be good” to each other is such a straightforward, kind and loving goal. I like the simple idea of being good to each other on purpose and believing

The holidays can be a stressful time. Even worse, your feelings of anxiety may be heightened by the contrasting gaiety and busyness of those around you. Whether you are trying to get some shopping done, find that recipe that you used last year, or finalize plans with your relatives – this time of the year can feel overwhelming. Confronting Holiday Stress If you are able to understand what causes you stress at this time of year, you will be