Kate Motaung

Left untreated, trauma destroys lives. Living with someone with PTSD can be extremely difficult. It can cause so much stress for family members that they may not be able to cope, and may eventually leave or divorce their partners. Fallout from this disorder is far-reaching and is devastating to all associated with it. What Causes PTSD? Post-traumatic stress can affect anyone, including those who have not experienced the horrors of battle. According to the American Psychiatric Association, PTSD occurs

A Christian Counselor Speaks Again Part 2 of a 2-Part Series The next time you feel depressed, anxious, stressed, or worried, take a moment to notice what it is that feeds your thoughts. It is highly likely that your mind is full of negative thoughts. There is a very strong correlation between what we think and what we feel. In psychology, these types of thoughts are called cognitive distortions. This term simply means that what you are thinking about

In the introduction to his book Waking the Tiger, Peter Levine writes: “… trauma is a fact of life. It does not, however, have to be a life sentence. Not only can trauma be healed but with appropriate guidance and support, it can be transformative.” Our Childhood Experiences Shape Our Lives We are all the sum of our experiences, as well as of the memories of those experiences. If we are lucky enough to have been born into a

A Christian Counselor Speaks Part 1 of a 2-Part Series We all have negative thoughts from time to time, but this is especially true of people dealing with anxiety and depression. Cognitive distortion is a term used to describe a pattern of thinking that habitually shifts life events into a negative framework. These distorted messages or automatic thoughts occur so rapidly that we hardly notice them, let alone stop to question them. Furthermore, we come to believe that these

A Christian Counselor Explains As a couple and family therapist, I believe that family therapy is the best option in many circumstances. Although there are times when individual or couple work is preferred, or more appropriate, I am convinced that family therapy has serious benefits. In this article, I want to introduce you to new possibilities and perspectives that are not always considered. Over the past two years I have worked intensively with children and families experiencing multiple difficult

A Christian Counselor’s Thoughts Self-esteem is essential to living a productive and fulfilling life. However, knowing how to utilize self-esteem well can be complicated by those who seem to have or display too much of it. It takes proper self-esteem to push forward through adversity and to motivate positive behaviors. With insufficient self-esteem, one will not be able to believe in oneself or have enough reason to push forward when trials and difficulties come. Many people suffer from low

Shame and guilt are two very common feelings. Most of us can relate to having felt guilty or ashamed of something we have said or done. Perhaps you are still carrying around feelings of guilt or shame. So what is the difference between them – and what can we do with these feelings? The Difference between Guilt and Shame Guilt is a feeling of remorse or of taking responsibility for some type of offense that we have committed. Whether

“The Bible says, ‘Do not get drunk…’” “Addiction is not a disease. That’s just a cop out.” “If you’re really a Christian, you won’t have problems with drugs or alcohol.” As a Christian growing up in the church, I have heard these statements made by many. It is very easy to cast judgment on something with which we do not struggle ourselves. Many people who become addicted to substances never intended their lifes to take that path. In my

A Christian Counselor's Perspective If you work for a company, or are part of a social group, club, or church, they will undoubtedly have a mission statement. Every successful business or group has a singular set of guiding principles that articulates their actions and decisions. It is the document that outlines the organization’s purpose and the end goal of its existence. So, if your businesses and your church know that they need to specify what drives them, what about

We live in a culture that idealizes love and romantic relationships without emphasizing how much work must go into them to help them be successful. Whether or not we were observant enough, or our parents were open enough to help us understand this principle, the fact remains that when God brings two people together in marriage, those individuals are first and foremost flawed and sinful individuals attempting to enter into a relationship that is designed to be symbolic of

Grief and loss are experienced by everyone at one time or another. Whether a significant and dramatic loss, such as that of a loved one, or a relatively minor loss, such as that of a relationship or opportunity, none of us are immune to the sting of grief and loss. And no two losses are exactly the same. In the face of grief and loss, it is important to have the right perspective in order to grieve properly and

The Christian life can sometimes feel like a roller coaster ride in which hope and faith collide with unexpected reality. When our prayers are not answered as we desired, or our dreams become shattered, disappointment is the natural result. In my previous article, I explored some healthy ways of responding to disappointment and in this article I continue this discussion, with additional suggestions for dealing with disappointment. We are Not Alone in Our Disappointment If we consider some of