Kate Motaung

🎧 Listen to this article This article references the book, Mending a Shattered Heart, edited by Stefanie Carnes Finding out your partner has been unfaithful is devastating. If the behavior proves to be the result of a sexual addiction, there can be even more overwhelming feelings of shame, confusion, loss, and pain; sometimes there are symptoms of PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), such as hypervigilance and intrusive thinking. Sex Addiction Criteria Following are ten key criteria for

I am walking through the woods on a peaceful day and I suddenly see a huge grizzly bear standing on its hind legs looking at me. I am paralyzed with fear. My heart rate accelerates, my mouth feels dry, my muscles tighten, my mind goes blank, my skin gets clammy, and I feel like I just drank 10 Red Bull Energy drinks. These are all very adaptive fight or flight responses my body produces to protect me from the

This is the final article of a brief series of articles posted earlier addressing the notion described by Dr. David Ferguson as "Blending Four Ingredients for Marital Closeness." As we briefly explore this specific ingredient of "Grateful Giving," it is very important that the foundational work of the previous three ingredients be understood and experienced. I hope you will consider reading them. More importantly, I hope you will join me in slowing down your life and allowing God to interrupt you with these simple relational

When I was a kid, I read a comic book about a criminal foursome exposed to cosmic rays who ended up with super powers. As you may have guessed, the story was part of the Fantastic Four series. One scene in particular stands out; there was a woman whose ability was to convert herself into any gas she chose. Near the end, as their powers are overwhelming and destroying them, her husband is suffocating because his repulse ability is

I was recently speaking at an event for marriage and family therapy students and emerging professionals. It was the kind of event where students could meet others in the field who have gone in a variety of different directions and ask any  questions they might have. Some students asked about the various job opportunities available, some about how to handle the emotional stress. One question directed towards me, though, stood out. As I had been hosting the event, I

This article on help for sex addition references the book, Ready to Heal, by Kelly McDaniel. Love and sex addiction is a double bind. If we seek a relationship, which we are all designed to do, we will experience pain. If we then avoid relationships, which seems logical when we’ve been hurt, we will also experience pain – usually the pain of being isolated. When we are lacking healthy role models in our formative years, we may arrive at

As I continue this series of articles on healthy relationships, I once again express my gratitude and deep respect to Dr. David Ferguson, his book, Intimate Encounters, and The Great Commandment Ministries team in Cedar Park, Texas. Myths & Lies About Healthy Relationships Healthy relationships require specific ingredients that include intentionality and clear purpose. It is a sad commentary on Christian and non-Christian married life that few couples have a common vision for their lives. One doesn’t have to look very

If you've clicked through to this article, my guess is that you're either desperate to save your marriage, or trying to find ways to help another couple save theirs. In either case, I pray that the following tips shared here will be a practical help to you, and that God would use this offering, combined with His grace and power, to make a difference for good. Before we begin, allow me to lay some groundwork. I have been married

What is ADHD? The fifth edition of the American Psychiatric Association’s Diagnostic Statistical Manual (DSM-5) lists Attention-Deficit Disorder (ADD) / Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) as a “Neuro-developmental Disorder” and refers to it as a neurological disease. It notes that it is not only found in children, but in adolescents and adults. The DSM-5 states that “individuals with ADHD may present with both inattention and hyperactivity/impulsivity, or one symptom pattern may predominate … Three presentations of ADHD are commonly referred to: combined-type,

Although the idea of codependency is a popular and often derogatory concept used in our self-help and pop culture society, it represents a real conceptualization of struggle and pain for a lot of people, especially those in committed relationships. Just as in most cases with emotional, psychological, and mental health problems, Christians and people of faith can and often do struggle with the prospect and reality of codependency in their marriages, committed relationships, and often in their relationships with

According to the National Institute of Mental Health, depression effects on women may include the following: Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, and making decisions Fatigue and decreased energy Feelings of guilt, worthlessness, and/or helplessness Feelings of hopelessness and/or pessimism Insomnia, early-morning wakefulness, or excessive sleeping Irritability, restlessness Loss of interest in activities or hobbies once pleasurable, including sex Overeating or appetite loss Persistent aches or pains, headaches, cramps, or digestive problems that do not ease even with treatment Persistent sad, anxious,

So! You’ve decided to tie the knot, take the plunge, make it official – in short, to get hitched, hopefully permanently. With all the preparations and stress that go along with planning a wedding, Christian premarital counseling might seem like a waste of time or even a nuisance. Many pastors require couples to get premarital counseling before they will marry them. I suppose you could shop around and find one that didn’t care, or go to a Justice of the