Kate Motaung

Typically, the first sign that indicates a need for me to investigate possible codependency with a client, is when they introduce themselves to me and describe themselves as “a people pleaser.” As we continue, I tend to find out that these people have very poor boundaries within their interpersonal relationships. One of the most prominent researchers into codependency, Melody Beattie, describes codependency like this: “A codependent person is one who has let another person’s behavior affect him or her,

Learning how to speak the truth in love isn’t always easy. I can think of many times I’ve sold out truth for the sake “love,” or the other way around. That is, I’ve spoken the truth, but not in a very loving way. They needed to hear it after all, and I’m not afraid to speak the truth. Someone has to do it. So I tell my wife what I think about how she’s handling the stress of getting

Have you ever had a friend who seemed to know you better than you know yourself? Someone who could see right through you when you said, “I’m okay. Everything is fine”? Did that friendship enable you to feel vulnerable and safe in a way that few others have? That type of friendship brings healing to our souls. Now, I want you to imagine taking that level of familiarity up a notch better yet, take it up 1,000 notches. Now

I recently saw the movie 8th Grade, wherein we follow the journey of 13 year old Kayla as she navigates the social landscape of 8th grade. It chronicles in a very realistically and honestly R-rated fashion the struggles that girls (and boys) are going through today. Watching this movie, I was struck by how much I connected with it and some of the feelings that I experienced as a 13-year-old boy. Sometimes a movie like this teleports you in

Raising children can feel like a full-time job. My mother once referred to the process as “the civilization of little savages,” which isn’t far from the truth. We start out all id and ego, needing, wanting, taking, and it is largely due to the intervention of our primary caregivers – who provide the much-needed correction and moral framework – that we are ever fit for society. When our best efforts aren’t enough, when our children persist in unacceptable behavior

The term “bipolar” is sometimes used colloquially to describe shifting or volatile emotions. It is fairly common for someone to say, “You’re being so bipolar right now,” or “I’ve been feeling bipolar lately” as they allude to the typical ups and downs of the human emotional experience. However, this informal use of “bipolar” is problematic for a number of reasons. One reason is because using the term incorrectly perpetuates an incomplete and inaccurate understanding and undermines the very real and

Bipolar Disorder is a disorder of the brain that results in significant, often cyclical, changes in mood, energy and activity levels resulting from those changes. The range of moods can include extreme highs (elation, high energy, activity in overdrive) and extreme lows (despondent, can’t get out of bed, suicidal). The “up” episodes are called manic (if severe) or hypomanic (if less severe), and the “down” episodes are called depressive. Depending on the severity of the symptoms, any one of

Attention Deficit Disorder, known as ADD, is commonly recognized and present in children as an inability to remain focused in structured environments, such as school. Some of the more well-known symptoms of ADD that are easily identified include fleeting memory recall, very short attention span, and trouble with impulse control. These paint a picture of ADD, especially with children, as one of the more difficult and misdiagnosed conditions. However, often some of the more unusual symptoms of ADD are

Plenty of stereotypes and assumptions exist about eating disorders. Here are five eating disorders statistics to set the record straight. 5 Eating Disorders Statistics 1) “Anorexia Nervosa has the highest mortality rate of any mental illness” (Arcelus, Mitchel, Wales & Nelson, 2011). Compared to the vast array of research and literature on many other mental health illnesses, there is a glaring lack of research on eating disorders, especially research that goes beyond the traditional conceptualization of eating disorders. Due to

Most of us are familiar with various symptoms of anxiety, such as a nervous stomach, racing pulse, restlessness, or worrying thoughts in response to a stressor. Almost everyone can think of a new experience, challenging conversation, or scary situation that elicited these reactions. At times, anxiety is highly beneficial; it alerts us to harm, protects us from potential danger, and heightens our ability to react as needed to specific situations. However, anxiety is problematic when it occurs excessively and

If you are wondering whether you or someone you know has bipolar, it is important to get a diagnosis from a mental health professional. Having said that, what follows is a look at some of the symptoms you can look for if you are on the fence about seeking a diagnosis. What is Bipolar II Disorder? Bipolar disorder is typically characterized by an emotional cycle of highs and lows, or manic and depressive states, over a period of days

In the modern world, we are constantly looking towards our next step. What will my next promotion be? Will I be able to advance in this career in this company, or will I need to jump ship to be able to move forward in my career? The answers to these questions guide us in our career development, but sometimes discerning what is right can be a real challenge. This is where Christian counseling can serve as a major help