Kate Motaung

"Would you rather be single and lonely or married and bored?" So asks one well-known comedian. From the world’s perspective, these are the choices when it comes to marriage and relationships. This suggests that the way to avoid both loneliness and boredom is to date but never commit to marriage. Sounds descriptive of our culture, doesn’t it? Our culture glorifies sex outside of marriage, making it the “human experience.” However the church can go the opposite pathway of disparaging

Abandonment issues aren’t something most people are willing to talk about. Acknowledging the fear often makes people feel needy or weak. But, in reality, most people will experience some anxiety surrounding the fear of being abandoned. For most, these feelings may arise when you go on the first date with someone who is distant and cold, or when a significant other is ignoring you on their smartphone. Instances like these can trigger the fear of being rejected in almost

Before getting into this article on setting boundaries, the term “boundary” first needs to be discussed. Many assume boundaries are unloving defenses intended to create distance rather than relationship. In reality, boundaries aren’t as much about keeping others out as keeping yourself in. It’s not about keeping others out, as much as it is about defining who you are and what you think. You can choose to think about boundaries like barricades and fortifications keeping others out, and that’s

What is Bipolar Depression? How is it related to Bipolar Disorder? This article will offer an explanation as well as symptoms to look for and various treatment options available. Let's start by looking at some of the facts. Bipolar Disorder is a chronic type of mood disorder. It actually used to be called manic depression because people with Bipolar Disorder go through periods of intense depression and other periods where their mood is extremely high. These high periods are known

For many individuals, anger feels like a force that can just completely take over and be a major source of stress in your life. Anger might show up in a variety of situations and at a variety of levels. Some of our earliest experiences of anger revolve around issues with siblings or parents or just the fact that we are hungry. Have you ever noticed how some people seem more prone to anger while others seem able to stay

Codependency goes beyond clinginess and is often characterized by an excessive need for another person. If you’re in a codependent relationship, you might find that you or your partner have a number of unhealthy tendencies when it comes to relating to each other and other people. Signs of a Codependent Relationship Do you or your partner go out of your way to get people to like you? Are you or your partner constantly going out of your way to

So he said goodbye and you’re left standing all alone. You put on the best mask you knew how to, in order to please his whims, desires, lusts, and so on, much like a performer puts on make-up and gets into character, trying to play the role of a lifetime. Now you are angry, disillusioned and dumbfounded that it wasn’t enough to keep the relationship together. Why not? you ask, still swimming in a sea of stormy, up and

We all know that marriage can have a purpose for our lives. But have you ever wondered if singleness has a purpose for us as well? The Apostle Paul spoke of singleness as a gift. For some, this may be a permanent life situation, but for many, it is merely a stage or season. During that season, many things can be explored, taken advantage of, and accomplished due to the nature of single life. This is indeed a grand

When you say that someone has “attachment issues,” what are you picturing? You’re probably thinking about someone who has trouble with relationships as an adult. They might be overly clingy, afraid the other person is going to leave them or cheat on them. Or, they might push them away as a way to test their loyalty or to get ahead of the fear that they’ll be left eventually no matter what they do. Attachment styles are especially reflected in

Every person on this planet was created as a specialized individual. The same treatment used by one person to combat a mental disorder may not necessarily be the best plan of action for the next person. How do you know if you are suffering from a serious disorder? When should you seek out help? What is the most effective course of action for your specific mental health condition? First, we need to determine if your symptoms warrant treatment. Knowing

My first foray into working in this mental health field involved working in a 12-bed residential facility in California where we would work with clients that suffered from severe mental illness. Our clients most commonly presented with Major Depression, Schizophrenia, Bipolar, or Schizoaffective Disorder. At our facility, clients would get to spend a lot of time in group and individual therapy, and we helped them to gain skills to help them re-integrate once they have become more stable. Right

How would you respond to a friend who just lost her husband in a tragic car accident? How about a mom who, with weeping, delivers her stillborn daughter? Or an elderly man who awakes to find his wife of 50 years has passed, unbeknownst to him, as they slept? We hug. We cry with them. We offer small words of encouragement, rarely believing they are adequate sources of comfort. We organize meals to be sent to the bereaved to