Kate Motaung

Codependency is a term that gets thrown around a lot. The definitions range from the technical, where it is used to describe a specific phenomenon that occurs in the families of addicts, to the popular, which revolves around how much time two people spend in each other’s company. But which definition is accurate? In this article, we will explore three different understandings of codependency and evaluate each in order to arrive at a more accurate understanding. Codependency: A (Very)

There are many phases of divorce and life after divorce. This article is intended to focus on stabilizing your life immediately after a divorce. It does not focus on pursuing a new relationship. Depending on whether you are a young couple with no kids getting divorced, a middle-aged couple with children, or in retirement age, divorce can have varying impacts. The divorce process itself can cause profound stress. A young couple with no kids may be more resilient if

“Traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: The past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort. Their bodies are constantly bombarded by visceral warning signs, and, in an attempt to control these processes, they often become experts at ignoring their gut feelings and in numbing awareness of what is played out inside. They learn to hide from themselves.” [And in turn, hide from others]. – Bessel A. Van der Kolk, The Body Keeps The Score [addition mine].

Have you ever felt like your personal development and professional development were at odds with one another? Some people feel as if they are in sync; others feel a dissonance between the two. In other words, many people succeed professionally while struggling privately. Others succeed in their personal life while struggling with their career. It is natural to excel in specific areas of your life. Learning how to use those skills to help you achieve success in other areas of

Anxiety has now surpassed depression as the number one reason teenagers seek out therapy. Teens have many reasons to be anxious these days – global fears, COVID disruptions, school pressure, peer pressure, social media fatigue, body issues, and helicopter parents, just to name a few. I was talking to with a teen recently who described his anxiety as “a constant pressure, closing in on me, a low-grade tension that never goes away but sometimes gets more intense and scares

Adultery is one of the most painful experiences couples can endure. You need support and encouragement if you have recently learned that your spouse was unfaithful. A Christian counselor will walk alongside you with compassion and wisdom as you seek healing after infidelity. Healing after Infidelity Healing is possible after infidelity. Though you may feel swept up in a marital affair you did not ask for, you can heal with God’s help. These are the steps we recommend for

In this article, we'll be considering various causes of anger followed by 19 Scriptures on anger in the Bible. Let's start with reasons people get angry. What makes you angry? Do you get upset when you’re stuck in traffic? When there is a miscommunication with your boss or spouse? Do you get angry when your kids are fighting amongst each other, or when a child gets a bad grade at school? Do you get angry when it is your

Communication is a fundamental pillar in any relationship – especially romantic relationships. The success of your relationship is determined by how well you can communicate your needs and actively listen to the needs of your partner. Ineffective communication patterns often lead to conflict and misunderstandings because, without the right skills, your needs remain unmet. In this article, we’ll look at some important keys to developing effective communication skills. When either partner is unable to identify and share their feelings

There are many reasons why an employee might want to set developmental goals at work. A new employee may be lacking certain abilities to perform their job well. An employee who has been there a while may be interested in improving efficiency or be looking at ways to expand their capabilities to rekindle interest or in preparation to move laterally within the company. Setting Developmental Goals for Work Whatever your reasons, there are some dos and don’ts which are

Looking for parenting advice? Hopefully this article will help. The parent-child relationship is one in which a certain dynamic generally exists – the parents are older, wiser, and more mature, and they are charged with the responsibility to nurture their children emotionally, mentally, and physically. Children, for their part, depend on their parents and caregivers to provide the nurturing they need so that they can flourish. It is a massive (but beautiful) task! At times it can seem daunting,

Is it an anxiety attack? Are you having panic attack symptoms? Are they the same thing? If not, how are they different? Anxiety attacks and panic attacks are, in fact, separate occurrences. Panic attacks are recognized by the DSM-5; but anxiety attacks are not, as anxiety is associated with various anxiety disorders (American Psychiatric Association, 2013). Panic disorder is one type of anxiety disorder, yet clients and clinicians nonetheless differentiate between the two. Anxiety attacks tend to be more

When you feel depressed, anxious, or wonder whether you possibly have one or more psychological disorders, do you ever think, “How do I find out what is wrong? What is my diagnosis? What if it is more than just one diagnosis? How does my therapist or clinician arrive at a correct diagnosis?” When you come to counseling with your problem(s), we as clinicians assess your symptoms to form a diagnosis. Sometimes, the criteria are quite clear. For example, most