Kate Motaung

Have you ever had a conversation with someone that left you feeling like you’ve disappeared? Become inaudible? When we get the sense that the people we care about aren’t really listening, the hurt cuts so deeply within us. We will never outgrow the need to have our feelings known. We have a yearning to be understood; to be seen, known, and accepted in a shared relationship. How do we then respond to this yearning in others as well as

It is all too human to experience seasons of life in which we find ourselves to be without, lacking some fine quality which we believe might bring us a greater caliber of life than the sub-par version we currently feel stuck in. At times, we look outward, seeking the good life in the accruement of things, wealth, and pleasures. Other times, we look into the mirror and rightly conclude that the lacking is not external, but internal. These are

It was once said that “A husband and wife may disagree on many things, but they must absolutely agree on this: to never, EVER give up.” Marriage brings many unexpected challenges where couples can feel head-over-heels in love one day and absolutely lost as to how to progress their relationship the next day. Let's examine a few marriage problems that couples face in their day-to-day lives. Common Marriage Problems Tanya and Dylan were head-over-heels in love when they received a

In the early years of my marriage, I didn’t have any experience resolving conflict. I viewed any argument as a threat to our relationship. I wanted to shut down any disagreement early on. I can only remember my parents arguing twice during my growing up years. Both times Dad retreated to his desk and Mom went outside and smoked a cigarette in the car. Then life would resume without any kind of public resolution or reconciliation. Needless to say,

Wondering how to treat anxiety? Most people are familiar with some form of anxiety as a response to a perceived danger or threat, feelings of nervousness and fear can help us to act quickly in threatening circumstances. Persistent fear and worry can be barriers to completing normal day-to-day activities and trigger an anxiety disorder, which might also include panic attacks, post-traumatic stress disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, and depression. Anxiety can be paralyzing and cause extreme suffering to the person experiencing it,

The idea of personal growth and transformation as an ongoing process can seem daunting in contrast with the prevailing cultural trend toward instant gratification. Perhaps one of your first struggles toward fruition will be against this ingrained approach to life. There is plenty in our culture that seeps into our attitudes unconsciously to persuade us to expect instantaneous formation rather than steady progress for the things we want to change. We seem to forget that everyone is in a

Codependency is a term that gets thrown around a lot. The definitions range from the technical, where it is used to describe a specific phenomenon that occurs in the families of addicts, to the popular, which revolves around how much time two people spend in each other’s company. But which definition is accurate? In this article, we will explore three different understandings of codependency and evaluate each in order to arrive at a more accurate understanding. Codependency: A (Very)

There are many phases of divorce and life after divorce. This article is intended to focus on stabilizing your life immediately after a divorce. It does not focus on pursuing a new relationship. Depending on whether you are a young couple with no kids getting divorced, a middle-aged couple with children, or in retirement age, divorce can have varying impacts. The divorce process itself can cause profound stress. A young couple with no kids may be more resilient if

“Traumatized people chronically feel unsafe inside their bodies: The past is alive in the form of gnawing interior discomfort. Their bodies are constantly bombarded by visceral warning signs, and, in an attempt to control these processes, they often become experts at ignoring their gut feelings and in numbing awareness of what is played out inside. They learn to hide from themselves.” [And in turn, hide from others]. – Bessel A. Van der Kolk, The Body Keeps The Score [addition mine].

Have you ever felt like your personal development and professional development were at odds with one another? Some people feel as if they are in sync; others feel a dissonance between the two. In other words, many people succeed professionally while struggling privately. Others succeed in their personal life while struggling with their career. It is natural to excel in specific areas of your life. Learning how to use those skills to help you achieve success in other areas of

Anxiety has now surpassed depression as the number one reason teenagers seek out therapy. Teens have many reasons to be anxious these days – global fears, COVID disruptions, school pressure, peer pressure, social media fatigue, body issues, and helicopter parents, just to name a few. I was talking to with a teen recently who described his anxiety as “a constant pressure, closing in on me, a low-grade tension that never goes away but sometimes gets more intense and scares

Adultery is one of the most painful experiences couples can endure. You need support and encouragement if you have recently learned that your spouse was unfaithful. A Christian counselor will walk alongside you with compassion and wisdom as you seek healing after infidelity. Healing after Infidelity Healing is possible after infidelity. Though you may feel swept up in a marital affair you did not ask for, you can heal with God’s help. These are the steps we recommend for