Have you ever craved a date with pornography more than a date with your partner? Have you fantasized about a porn star while making love with your partner? Do you look forward to being alone so that you can have time to watch porn? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may have an addiction to pornography.
Pornography addiction is treatable with a combination of counseling and group therapy. Sexual addiction clinics provide people a chance to name their addiction, receive professional guidance, and develop accountability within a group of people dealing with the same issues. Faith can also play a central role in your recovery, by connecting with a sense of purpose greater than the instant gratification of pornography.
Addiction to pornography can have a significantly negative impact on one’s relationships. Trust can be destroyed, and intimacy is often compromised. Pornographic addiction will inevitably seep into the fabric of your relationships and slowly destroy them, if allowed to fester and grow. Seeking help from a trained Christian counselor is an important step to take in protecting your relationships from the toxic reach of pornography. Seattle Christian Counseling has a team of dedicated professionals ready to help you move away from pornograhpy and into lasting, successful relationships. Contact a counselor today, and begin your journey back to healthy relationships.
This article on help for sexual addition references the book, Ready to Heal, by Kelly McDaniel.
Love and sex addiction is a double bind. If we seek a relationship, which we are all designed to do, we will experience pain. If we then avoid relationships, which seems logical when we’ve been hurt, we will also experience pain – usually the pain of being isolated. When we are lacking healthy role models in our formative years, we may arrive at adulthood without the tools to navigate pain.
With repeated betrayal in relationships, we may end up with some of these feelings:
Shame sets in when we can’t seem to free ourselves from choosing destructive relationships. Aligning with this shame of failure may follow secret thoughts (lies) of being a bad person, of agreeing that we are unlovable, of accepting we can’t rely on others, or of equating sexuality with love.
Choosing behaviors (masturbation, sex, drugs, food, alcohol, affairs, etc.) that soothe the pain and...Read More
At the emotional root of every addiction is a good desire. We want to be seen, known, and loved well, and when it doesn’t happen, the pain can be intolerable. We want to be free of our stresses and free to enjoy life. Good desires. The problem with addiction is that it masquerades as a solution, masking our symptoms while our condition slowly worsens in the background.
I once heard a pastor say, “Only dead things float down stream.” You’ve got to be swimming at least a little bit just to stay in one place. Addictions are like floatation devices that keep us from having to face our emotional pain and make difficult choices that might actually bring growth and change. Pornography addiction is particularly insidious, because it can seem like a “victimless crime” and it masquerades as bonding to our unconscious mind, while gradually building an addiction to our own neurochemicals. Add to that the guilt and shame which often go along with it, plus the underlying emotional structure driving the behavior, and the dynamics of pornography addiction become a complex puzzle that can take some time and effort to unravel.
Recent studies in neurobiology have shown that thoughts that are repeated actually create stronger neural pathways in our brain. Repetition causes neural pathways to be reinforced. You may have heard the saying, “We are what we repeatedly do.” In a very real, physical sense this is true of the impact of thought and behavior on our brains. We can train...Read More
Part 4 of a 4-Part Series: Porn and Power
The first three parts of this series made some key observations about pornography:
Colorado pastor/counselor Michael John Cusick, in his book Surfing for God: Discovering the Divine Desire Beneath Sexual Struggle, outlines the “broken promises” of pornography:
Research studies note how boys lose touch with their inner world, and with the narratives composing their emotional core Selves, because they are shamed and socialized to avoid this terrain from a very young age. (See my father-son series here on “co-narrating” a masculinity beyond “the Boy Code.”)
Plugging in to our digital world makes it easier than ever to disconnect from this core Self, or the “soul” that Quaker writer Parker Palmer likens to tenacious, resilient “wild animal” timidly lurking at the edge of a forest. Do not mistake timid for weak. If anything, the “soul” Palmer describes has too much Self-respect to expose itself to a man who cannot...Read More