Take stock of your life for a moment. Think about what you dreamed for yourself as a young man, and how that dream developed over time. Now think about where you are today: is this what you wanted? Are you satisfied with your career? Do you feel fulfilled in your relationships? If you feel like you’re not the man you want to be, you are not alone. Fortunately, Christian counseling offers an excellent space to learn and to grow in your development as a confident yet sensitive man in today’s world.
Unique Struggles and Challenges Facing Men
Sadly, our culture does not encourage men to speak openly about their struggles and challenges. For that reason, one of the most common issues facing men today is silence: we often do not feel that we can acknowledge our weaknesses and pain before others. Men, like women, can struggle with eating disorders or abuse; yet, unlike women, we are told to be strong and bury our pain. Counseling can be a wonderful place to find a voice for yourself in all your complexity as a man in today’s world.
The standards of ‘masculinity’ can place a lot of weight on men today: being a man means that you are strong, confident, handsome, and successful in your work and relationships. When we change ourselves to meet these unrealistic expectations, we can become caught up in unhealthy habits and ways of being that betray our authentic selves. This only adds problems to your life and makes true intimacy with others difficult.
At Seattle Christian Counseling, we are interested in helping men discern how to be Godly leaders. What does it mean to be a Christian man in a world where masculinity is so often identified with power and success? How do we learn to be loving husbands and devoted fathers? How can we be role models for the next generation of Christian men? Learning how to be a prayerful man in a world marked by hyper-sexuality, violence, and apathy is a lifelong process that takes patience and strength.
Anxiety Symptoms: How to Recognize if You Are Struggling with Anxiety
By Alyssa Kirkman,
Posted April 26th, 2019
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Samantha is a 27-year-old female. She has a successful career and has worked very hard to get where she is today. Ever since college, she has noticed that she often feels stressed and worried about a variety of things. They might be worries related to work, school (when she was attending), relationships, or things she wants to accomplish.
There are seasons that are worse than others, but overall, it has been an ongoing issue in Samantha’s life. Some weeks she has horrible insomnia, where she cannot seem to shut her mind off. Other weeks she sleeps throughout the night, but still wakes up feeling unrested and groggy.
Her shoulders almost always feel tense, and more times than not she finds herself carrying a “knot” in her stomach. She has trouble relaxing and feels like she always needs to be doing something. Sitting still and being present is a huge challenge for her, which she has found affects her social life.
There are days where the worry and stress feel so out of control that Samantha will end her day with a glass or two of wine, to take the edge off. A lot of her worries are surrounded by a need to be perfect and prove herself to be worthy.
Lately, she has noticed that it has been difficult to concentrate at work. Her mind keeps going blank and she feels mentally exhausted. This begins to scare Samantha, as she feels it is affecting her
Eating Disorder Statistics Prove Men Struggle, Too
By David Hodel,
Posted April 25th, 2019
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Depending on what part of the country you live in, there may be a stigma that surrounds eating disorders if you are male. For one thing, any disorder may be seen as a sign of weakness, and you may have been trained to feel shame in the face of weakness.
Culturally, you may have more awareness of females with eating disorders, movie and media references to “girls who eat their feelings” and the like. Addictive or compulsive behaviors surrounding eating, however, are more common for males than you might think.
Eating Disorder Statistics
You might be surprised by the following eating disorder statistics. From 1999 to 2009, hospitalizations for males with eating disorders rose by 53%. Of men with eating disorders, specific disorders were represented:
Anorexia Nervosa 25%
Binge Eating Disorder 36%
Bulimia Nervosa 25%
Men often suffer from co-occurring conditions such as anxiety, depression, substance disorders, and excessive exercising. Some studies suggest that men face a higher mortality risk around eating disorders. Perhaps most interestingly, behaviors such as binging, taking laxatives, purging and fasting are nearly as common among males as females.
Social standards continue to shift at a dizzying rate, fueled by the ever-present influence of commentary in media and the movies. Men are more body-conscious than they were 40 years ago, and there is no shortage of commercials and depictions on film and television to reinforce the idea that if you don’t look a certain way you’re going to die alone. It is
Common Signs of Codependency: What Should You Look For?
By Maryann Stigen,
Posted March 27th, 2019
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Typically, the first sign that indicates a need for me to investigate possible codependency with a client, is when they introduce themselves to me and describe themselves as “a people pleaser.”
As we continue, I tend to find out that these people have very poor boundaries within their interpersonal relationships.
One of the most prominent researchers into codependency, Melody Beattie, describes codependency like this:
“A codependent person is one who has let another person’s behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person’s behavior.” – Codependent No More, 1992 ed.
Have I lost you with that definition? Stick around and we will elaborate on it later within this article.
Another well known researcher in the area of codependency, Pia Mellody, states that codependents have difficulty in the following areas:
Experiencing inappropriate levels of self-esteem
Setting functional boundaries
Owning and expressing their own reality
Taking care of their adult needs and wants
Experiencing and expressing their reality moderately
Concerning number one above, Mellody goes on to say that “if codependents have any kind of esteem, it is not self-esteem but other-esteem; which is based on external things such as how one looks, how much money they make, who they know, what kind of car they drive, what kind of job they have, how well their children perform, how powerful and important or attractive their spouse is, the degrees they have earned, how well they perform at activities in which others value, etc” (Facing Codependence, p.