Codependency is a relational dynamic in which one person puts the needs of others ahead of his or her needs in an attempt to compensate for low self-esteem and/or feelings of guilt or shame. At heart, then, codependency is a dysfunctional relationship with yourself. Codependent relationships are imbalanced, with one person trying to ‘earn’ validation by pleasing the other. Signs of codependency can include anything from unhealthy self-doubt to the aggressive manipulation or control of others.
Boundaries & Codependent Relationships
People who struggle with codependency struggle to form healthy boundaries in their relationships. Codependent persons find it difficult to differentiate—that is, to separate their sense of self from the person with whom they share a relationship. This can make true intimacy extremely difficult, because the codependent person will fear losing him or herself if the relationship fails. By setting up boundaries, you can form a healthy sense of personal identity apart from others, and with those boundaries securely in place, you can discover what it means to be in true relationship.
Freedom & Recovery from Codependent Relationships
Breaking the cycle of codependency is difficult but not impossible. Healing from codependency begins with developing a stronger sense of yourself and learning to love yourself as intrinsically valuable, apart from your relationships. This means letting go of people and things you can’t control, and learning to listen to your own inner voice. As you come to love and trust yourself, you will discover a greater sense of freedom and peace in your relationships.
Addictions & Codependent Relationships
The term ‘codependency’ was first used to describe persons in a relationship with an addict. Very often, people who have codependent tendencies will seek relationships with substance abusers or persons suffering from other forms of addiction. Addiction and codependency fuel one another because the addict relies on the codependent for help and validation, and the codependent becomes ‘addicted’ to caring for the addict. This is obviously a very unstable foundation for a relationship, and, unfortunately, both people suffer consequences.
Setting Boundaries: Codependency and Your Loved Ones
By Missy Neill,
Posted October 31st, 2017
Tags: No Tags Available
Codependency is an unhealthy, excessive reliance on another person. It is a learned behavior and can stem from many factors such as low self-esteem, poor boundaries, addiction, illness of a partner, or insecurity.
Codependency prevents a person from having a healthy, balanced, satisfying relationship with another person. Codependents don’t realize that there needs to be ‘space’ in a relationship. Instead, they become so enmeshed in another person that they lose their own identity.
Cоdереndеnсу сhаrасtеrіѕtісѕ аbоund, but соmmоn ones include:
hаvіng low ѕеlf-wоrth
difficulty setting аnd kееріng bоundаrіеѕ
It’ѕ nоt easy tо lооk at уоurѕеlf іn thе mіrrоr аnd admit thаt уоu’vе bееn harboring such аttіtudеѕ аnd behaviors.
Every аrеа of hеаlіng within соdереndеnсу ѕtаrtѕ with аwаrеnеѕѕ. Acknowledge thаt people аrе not асtіng in a wау thаt is ассерtаblе tо you. You nееd tо оwn уоur fееlіngѕ and learn hоw tо be emotionally honest wіth уоurѕеlf. Onlу when уоu аrе able to be honest with уоurѕеlf, wіll оthеrѕ start tо react tо уоu in a wау that rеflесtѕ hоw they vіеw уоur truth.
Boundaries are a good antidote for codependency. No one is born with healthy boundaries, but through good parental role modeling in our upbringing, educating ourselves, and with practice we can learn to have healthy relationships with good boundaries.
Think of boundaries as your bottom lines and a set of principles by which to live by. Boundaries are an important part of establishing a healthy, non-codependent relationship but setting boundaries with loved ones can be difficult.
What is a Codependent Relationship? Do We All Need Boundaries?
By David Hodel,
Posted June 19th, 2017
Tags: No Tags Available
When I was a kid, I read a comic book about a criminal foursome exposed to cosmic rays who ended up with super powers. As you may have guessed, the story was part of the Fantastic Four series. One scene in particular stands out; there was a woman whose ability was to convert herself into any gas she chose. Near the end, as their powers are overwhelming and destroying them, her husband is suffocating because his repulse ability is pushing all the oxygen away from him. In a desperate attempt to save him, she converts herself to oxygen, but his power disperses her on the wind like so much vapor. At its worst, this is what a codependent relationship is like.
What is Codependency?
Clinically, codependency is a relationship dynamic where one person subverts himself or herself in service to another, at the expense of their own well-being. A spouse to a substance user who goes out and buys the substance for him or her is codependent. Spouses who make it their job to keep everyone happy in the marriage (or the family) are codependent. Battered spouses who stay in the relationship are codependent, dispersed on the wind like the woman in the story.
There is such a thing as a harmless, or mostly harmless, codependent relationship, but the impact can be insidious long-term. At the core of codependency is a need to control. Imagine
Useful Tips for Christians Struggling with Codependency
By Matt Gullett,
Posted May 10th, 2017
Tags: No Tags Available
Although the idea of codependency is a popular and often derogatory concept used in our self-help and pop culture society, it represents a real conceptualization of struggle and pain for a lot of people, especially those in committed relationships.
Just as in most cases with emotional, psychological, and mental health problems, Christians and people of faith can and often do struggle with the prospect and reality of codependency in their marriages, committed relationships, and often in their relationships with children and parents.
As a Christian counselor, I work with many people who often get stuck in their relationships because of codependent learnings, leanings, and/or characteristics. In the counseling relationship, we will work to understand, develop awareness, and help see a new way or path to relating with others.
What is Codependency?
Codependency refers to pain caused by the sufferings we encountered during our childhood, but becomes expressed in adulthood, leading to a higher chance of compulsive/addictive behavior and relationship problems. Codependency can be attributed to specific feelings and behaviors that result in an aversive relationship that is full of self-loathing and self-sacrificial behaviors.
The condition leaves you at a point where your life is miserable and something to endure instead of enjoy. As a result, you find yourself dreading each day and hoping it passes as quickly as possible while hinging your relief on other people’s lives.
11 Tips for Christians Battling Codependency
In therapy, we will work through many of these feelings and some of the following