The topic of forgiveness has been discussed at length across the globe, throughout history, and among several different religions and philosophies. However, there is one specific belief system in which the concept of forgiveness encompasses a depth and magnitude unlike any other in all of the world and that is Biblical Christianity.
The concept of forgiveness is mentioned in the bible at least 75 times throughout the Old and New Testaments. Depending on which translation you use, you may see words like “remission” used in place of the word “forgiveness.”
There are different themes in the Word concerning this concept of forgiveness but they are tied together. There is first the concept of God’s forgiveness towards us, as sinners; and then there is the concept of us, sinners, forgiving fellow sinners. The immensity of this biblical concept is extremely difficult for the human mind to grasp; which must mean that it is meant for our spirits to grasp instead.
Perhaps one of the most powerful verses on forgiveness that exists is the following which combines both of the aforementioned concepts in one passage:
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. Therefore, be imitators of God, as ...
There seems to be a common thread among the majority of clients I see – they tend to work against their emotions, instead of knowing how to work with them.
For whatever reason, it is a prevalent belief that the “negative” emotions (not bad, just the direction of the emotion taking us down rather than up) are something to either ignore, stuff, suppress, medicate or be afraid of.
Where did this belief originate? I’m not sure, but if you know the answer, please let me know! I do know that especially among those of us with faith in God, we tend to especially gravitate towards this idea that some emotions are “good” and others are “bad” and should be avoided at all costs.
If that were truly the case, then it would have been a mighty big mistake for all current 7 billion people on planet earth to have all of the same emotions – wouldn’t it? Not to mention all of the people who have ever lived previously!
I do not believe that God is capable of making mistakes; it would be the equivalent of saying that our arms and legs should not be as they are. We all have them and for good reason, just as we all have the same emotions, and for a purpose, at that.
So then, does it make more sense to learn how to use our arms and legs to our benefi...
I remember my father describing being at the grocery store once. There was a woman with a child who was being unruly. She tried to get the boy to settle down and grabbed his arm, but he screamed and raged all the more. I remember the menacing look on my father's face as he commented a kid who did that in HIS care would only do it once.
Few things can impact us as quickly and as deeply as the anger of our child. We all have our own reactions to it; some weather it and patiently correct, some get angry or violent right back, some feel overwhelmed and emotionally go to ground unable to deal with it. As they are remarkably complex, uniquely formed individuals, there is no one-size-fits-all solution when your children are angry, but there are some tools that will help in most cases.
It's Tough Being a Kid
We’ve all been there, and while a very few of us may have had a completely peaceful transition into adulthood, a great many of us suffered all manner of emotional and physical traumas along that particular path.
When you think for a moment about the developmental phases a child goes through, it makes sense that rage is going to be a part of their emotional makeup. Their capacity to experience it and process it will vary from person to person, based not only on emot...
Have you ever heard the statement, “Anger is a second emotion”? This statement intrigues me. Thinking back into past experiences this statement rings true. Has there ever been a time in your life when you were first angry? Think about it. Most often sadness or hurt arises, then as a second emotion, anger follows. Anger is defined as a strong feeling of annoyance, displeasure or hostility.
In sessions, I often use the example that anger is a ticking time bomb. Event after event, time after time eventually it explodes. Some people think, if they push it down and ignore it then it will not affect their life. Sadly it affects their life more. Eventually, as time builds and hurts get deeper, the wound becomes more like a scare and anger gets closer to the time of its explosion.
When we ask what is the heart of the matter of this emotion anger, we are asking how does it develop and how does it affect our heart and lives. How is anger so impactful? It changes our perspective, perhaps makes us lose hope and our trust in people. Perhaps it changes our desire to maintain and develop friendships.
It is carried around with us daily and we think we have left it in a box stored away till we want to unpack it again. Anger is heavy; it is sadness, disappointment, lost expectations, ...
But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. There is no law against these things! – Galatians 5:2-23
One of the most common things I hear from men in my office is “… and then I just get so angry.” Anger seems to rest on our population like a plague, often creating a wake of devastation in the lives of families all over America. While many men experience anger, their loved ones, friends, and co-workers feel the ripple effect. Even that guy who you cut off in traffic.
Anger spreads, invades, and infects those around us. Further, when we try to bottle it down, it becomes like a pressure cooker ready to explode. As such, many treatments men try to use for themselves either end up having no effect or else the opposite effect. Treating anger in isolation, head on, can often be a futile task.
Imagine this: you are standing in a cove on the beach, and I instruct you to stop the waves from coming in. How could you accomplish such a task? Would you stand in front of the waves and tell them to stop? Would you lean into the waves and use your body to block their path? These attempts would likely yield poor results as ...
What does it mean to actually forgive someone who has wronged us in some way? It seems like such a simple concept that we are taught even at a young age. When someone says ‘I’m sorry,’ we say ‘I forgive you.’ And as Christians we are often taught to grant forgiveness even if that ‘I’m sorry’ never comes. But what is forgiveness beyond the spoken words?
What is Forgiveness?
Forgiveness is releasing the ‘right’ you may feel to be angry and resentful, laying down all claims to retribution. It is relinquishing any guilt, punishment, or debt that someone may owe you.
Forgiveness seeks pardon, not punishment of the other person. Forgiveness carries the price of surrendering revenge, but the reward is worth it. God began by forgiving us, and He invites us to forgive others.
There are many misconceptions about what it means to forgive, as well as what it means about ourselves as the forgiver. These messages can come from social media, Hollywood, or even our own friends and family.
Ultimately as Christians, we can find clarity in the Scriptures to sort out “What is forgiveness, really?”
Common Myths About Forgiveness
The following are a few myths that the world tends to portray about forgiving.
Myth: Forgiveness is letting ...
The reasons and causes for a child to be prone to angry outbursts are too numerous to discuss in one article. Children are born with different innate dispositions, may be dealing with a disability that constantly frustrates them, or may be reacting to a dramatic change to their life. These are some examples of life factors that result in an angry child who is difficult to manage.
Having an approach specific to the particular cause is an important consideration when dealing with anger management for kids. However, we can find some universal parenting principles in the Bible that are necessary ingredients for helping children develop coping skills to function in the world.
In my 20 years in working with families, a common theme I have found with children and teenagers with anger problems is inconsistent parenting. A lot of permissive parents focus on being connected to their child, but shift to be controlling in a crisis. Conversely, authoritarian parents don’t know how to be positively connected to their kids when things are going well and provide little support toward autonomy.
Many parents shift back and forth between the two styles inconsistently, leaving the child without stable boundaries to figure things out. The result is that the child is constantly frustrated t...